To be Sung on the Occasion of Missing a Funeral or Other Important Event Due to Falling Asleep on a Train.
The Lord is my driver, I shall not wake.
In passenger’s dream he leadeth me, the quiet coaches by.
My seat he doth reserve again.
Within the rails of rightness on time he leadeth me, for schedule’s sake.
Yea though I ride through the tunnel of the shadow of WiFi, I will fear no delay.
For thou art rhythmic, thy trolley and thy staff will come for tea.
My table thou hast first class laid, in presence of my woes.
My lap thou dost with ale anoint, when my cup overspills.
Surely briefcase and PC shall follow me, all the ways of my land, and I shall dwell in the coach of the train for ever.
Tune: The Vicar of Dibley
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“We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed.”
The Warrington Aria from Handel’s Messiah, I Corinthians 15:51
Organ voluntary “Wachet Auf” by JS Bach.
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Dedicated to Thelma Kameen, 1928 – 2015, one of the most kind, generous and witty people one could hope to meet in a lifetime. She misused the words of countless songs for the entertainment of friends, and I’m assured that she approves of the reverent adaptation above.
with sincere apologies to David (a psalm of…) and the King James Bible.